Thursday, November 13, 2008

Can I get a lube?

Tuesday was Veterans day. What did you do to celebrate The Great Wars Armistice? I turned a service technician at my local Dodge/Jeep dealer gay.

I had the day off so I figured that it would be a great time to take the ol’jeep in for an oil change. The dealership is in a rural area, so there was several trucks already in line when I pulled up. We all ended up in the waiting room, drinking coffee. The farmers watching Good morning America and I clicked away on the Iphone.
After awhile a technician came in and shouted a random name. He repeated this several times until I realized that it happened to be Fuzzy’s last name.
“Oh, sorry that’s me!”
“You don’t know your name?” he said in a half joking manner.
“No..I mean, yes… I do… It just that the service order must have been placed under the other half’s name.“ Fuzz takes his truck here as well.
He looked at me puzzled. “The other half? It says XXXXX here?” (He barked Fuzzy’s full name)
I realized what was about to happen, you have to make a choice. Do you bring this small town good ol’boy into the 21 century, or realize that you haven’t had a shower yet and just want to get out of the Service/Parts department as quickly as possible.
“Ya, he’s my partner.”
The look on his face was shared by the whole waiting room, one of odd bewilderment. The trying to place the phrase “business” in front of partner, thinking ohhhh..... business partner. Maybe they own the local Feed and Seed. Then one by one they just gave up and settled for a look a fifty year old gets when they just smelled stinky cheese. The Service Tech. started to look at the work order. He started to think upon how he let a Homosexual’s oil run from their crank case on to his hands. Shooting out right by his face. OH, GOD! I was inside a Homo’s vehicle?!
This is where he looked up at me and realized that he had caught the gay. Like tag, and I had just touched his back as he ran away. I slipped the paperwork out of his stunned hands and turned to pay.
“What is this 1955?”
The poor service guy still standing there, rolling his fate around in his head. I’m sure by noon he was down at the mall in buying flip-flops.

4 comments:

Chris said...

Haha, excellent! Totally been there.

Kezza said...

See, now if that was my service department I'd never let that kind of shit happen. Most of the mechanics I've worked with have been pretty cool about the whole gay thing. One or two of them were even a little bit fond of a full under-carriage inspection so I'd suggest a more rainbow tinted Jeep dealership... If such a thing exists, failing that you could bring your car here... I'd gladly drop your oil for you.

Michael said...

Oh you're terrible Muriel. See I do a reverse coming out. I like when my friend Andrea visits because whenever we go anywhere together people look at me and then her and then give the look of "What's he doing with a girl?"

bigislandjeepguy said...

whenever I say "partner" my other half always says "they think we are business partners or something". I figure, let THEM do the math. I do, however, usually enjoy the stunned silence.